Patricia King is a respected apostolic minister of the gospel, successful business owner, and an inventive entrepreneur. She is an accomplished itinerant speaker, author, television host, media producer, and ministry network overseer who has given her life fully to Jesus Christ and to His Kingdom’s advancement in the earth. She is the founder of Patricia King Ministries.
“But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
— Ephesians 4:15 (NASB)
There is a beautiful tension in the phrase “speaking the truth in love.” It holds two vital truths in balance—truth and love—neither of which can be forsaken if we are to truly represent Christ. Truth without love becomes harsh and harmful; love without truth becomes hollow and enabling. God has not called us to wield His Word like a sword of vengeance, but to use it as a healing balm, applied with wisdom, compassion, and humility.
1. Truth Must Reflect the Heart of God
In John 1:14, Jesus is described as “full of grace and truth.” That’s not just poetic—it’s instructive. Jesus never compromised truth, but He also never used truth as a weapon of self-righteousness or bitterness. Instead, He met people where they were, offered them grace, and called them higher. Whether it was the woman at the well (John 4) or the woman caught in adultery (John 8), He spoke truth with compassion, drawing people toward transformation—not shame.
If we are to represent God, then our words must reflect His character. God is holy and just, yes—but He is also “slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8). When we speak in ways that carry judgment, bitterness, or unforgiveness, we distort the image of God to the world around us. We may be saying “true” things, but if our tone, posture, or motive misrepresents the love of God, we aren’t truly speaking His truth.
2. Love is the Container of Truth
1 Corinthians 13:1 reminds us, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” Even the most profound truths lose their power when they are not wrapped in love. Words that are meant to edify can end up wounding if they’re not carried with kindness.
Love doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations or sugarcoating sin. It means being willing to engage, but always with a motive to build up rather than tear down. Paul exhorted the church in Ephesus to let no “corrupting talk” come out of their mouths, but only what is “good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
Are our words giving grace to those who hear?
3. Edify, Exhort, and Comfort
Paul’s instruction to the Corinthian church about prophecy gives us a beautiful blueprint for our speech:
“But the one who prophesies speaks to people for edification, exhortation, and consolation.”
— 1 Corinthians 14:3 (NKJV)
These three elements—edification, exhortation, and comfort—should guide how we speak truth to one another. To edify means to build up, to strengthen in faith. To exhort is to urge toward righteousness and truth. To comfort is to reassure the weary heart. These are not passive actions. They require intentionality, prayerfulness, and the heart of a servant.
It’s easy to fall into one extreme—being so “truthful” that we ignore love, or being so “loving” that we avoid truth. But when the Holy Spirit guides our speech, we can walk in that divine balance that nurtures both holiness and grace.
4. Guard Your Heart—Then Your Tongue
Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). If bitterness or judgment is pouring from our mouths, it may be a sign that those things are lodged deep in our hearts. We cannot speak love if we are not rooted in love. We cannot offer grace if we have not embraced it for ourselves.
Psalm 19:14 should be our daily prayer:
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
Before we speak, we must allow the Holy Spirit to examine our hearts. Are we speaking to correct or to condemn? Are we confronting to restore, or to punish? Is our tone seasoned with grace (Colossians 4:6), or is it tainted by the residue of our own wounds?
5. Walking as Christ’s Ambassadors
2 Corinthians 5:20 says, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us.” That means our words represent more than our opinions—they represent the Kingdom of God. This is a sobering and beautiful responsibility.
If we are going to represent Jesus, we must sound like Him. Not just in doctrine, but in demeanor. Jesus didn’t yell at the broken-hearted or shame the struggling. He welcomed them, spoke life into them, and then invited them to walk in righteousness.
So let us speak the truth—clearly, boldly, and without compromise. But let us speak it wrapped in love, laced with mercy, and rooted in the character of Christ.
Questions to Reflect On:
- Have I ever spoken “truth” in a way that lacked love? What was the result?
- How can I better prepare my heart before having a difficult but necessary conversation?
- Who in my life needs to hear truth spoken in a way that builds up rather than tears down?
A Prayer:
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being the God of both truth and love. You never compromise righteousness, yet You pour out mercy without measure. You are patient with us, kind in correction, and faithful in every word You speak. Lord, we want to reflect that same heart in our own words.
Teach us how to speak the truth with grace. When we’re called to correct, let us do so with gentleness. When we must confront, let it be from a place of love, not pride or bitterness. Guard our hearts from unforgiveness, and keep our motives pure, so that we do not speak out of hurt, anger, or self-righteousness.
Help our words to edify, exhort, and comfort, just as Your Word does. May what we say bring light to dark places, healing to wounded hearts, and strength to those who are weak. Season our speech with kindness, humility, and the wisdom of Your Spirit.
Holy Spirit, guide us. Place a guard over our lips and a filter over our thoughts. May everything we say be rooted in love and directed by truth. Use us as vessels of Your peace, Your correction, and Your encouragement. Let our voices echo the voice of Christ—gentle, yet firm; honest, yet full of mercy.
And when we fail—because we will—remind us quickly, and help us to repent, make things right, and grow in grace.
We want to represent You well, Lord. Not only in what we say, but in how we say it.
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Amen.
Living Unoffendable– book by Patricia King
Patricia King shares the transformative power of choosing not to take offense – revealing hose this choice leads to deeper relationships and greater peace. She offers practical strategies for identifying triggers and cultivating a resilient spirit, advocating for a proactive approach to life’s challenges. By fostering an attitude of love and understanding, Patricia invites readers to experience the freedom that comes from living unoffendable, ultimately leading to a more joyful and fulfilling existence.
Unoffendable Love Sudy Guide & Teaching – course by Patricia King
In this life-changing course, Patricia King reveals the causes and damaging consequences of offense that negatively affect the health and well-being of individuals, marriages, families, churches, workplaces, and entire regions and nations. You will learn how to be free from this trap of darkness so that you can live a better way — a way that will accelerate the flow of God’s goodness in and through your life!
